I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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