Sponge bath it is.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
