I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
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Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
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He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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