I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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