I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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