I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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