Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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