I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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