Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
