i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
being pregnant is like rehab
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
