Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Dear god my vagina.
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