Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
