Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
