shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
