Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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