The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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