i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
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