these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
