Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
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I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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