Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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