My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
