By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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