Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
this will be a night to untag.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
