Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
