Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Randomize
