when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
