Having a random hookup so left but love u
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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