plz talk dirty to me
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
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