i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I have demons in me.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.