her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
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I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize