i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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