I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
