He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
