I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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