i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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