i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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