you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
