i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Randomize
