She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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