i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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