the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
