Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
