You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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