Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
