If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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