Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
