I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
