Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
