shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
