Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize