Pappa wants mamma naked
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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