anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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