PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
