Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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