friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
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