I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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