I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
