If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
