Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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