Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
whose ass print is on the piano?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize