my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
