No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
