The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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