My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
