dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
